How many times have you met a woman you were really interested in, built a great connection and gone out on a few dates, only to hear her say: “I think of you more as a friend.”
Or worse, she simply started to lose interest in you and along comes some swaggering stud who sweeps her right off her feet. If you’re worn out with having these kinds of experiences, then this chapter might be one of the most important things you’ll ever read. By now, I’m sure this stage has been set as to why women file some guys in the “just friends” category while chasing like rabid baby squirrels after other men. Again, it’s the men who master the art of indirect communication, build mystery, demonstrate social proof and who don’t “need” a woman to complete them, who get the girl.
But how can you make sure that you position yourself as one of these guys and stay out of the dreaded friends zone? Here is a simple checklist which you can go over in your mind every time you meet a new woman you’re interested in:
1. Am I Being Needy? This will reveal itself more in the way that you think and feel while you are around her than anything else. Are you constantly feeling like you have to earn her attention and that you might not be good enough for her? Are you analyzing every little thing that she’s saying and trying to find the hidden meaning? If so, you’re demonstrating to her that you are not confident and lowering your social value in her eyes. Remember, put a high price on yourself and focus on the idea that she needs you more than you need her. Even if she doesn’t end up being interested, that’s her loss…not yours.
2. Am I Making Myself too Available? Are you calling her more than she’s calling you? Are you asking her out and trying to spend time with her more than she is with you? Are you going out of your way to buy things and to trying impress her with things other than your personality? If so, check your behavior and pull back a little. Otherwise, she might keep you around just because you’re always available…but she’ll look for a man who demonstrates that he has a life outside of her.
3. Am I Being too “Polite?” Being too polite basically means that you are agreeing with everything that she says in order to keep her from disapproving of you. Women aren’t frail, they can handle it when a man disagrees with them and has his own opinion. What they can’t handle is feeling that a man is too weak to have his own opinions and his own values. These guys might be good friends because they are easy to get along with, but a woman is looking for a man who would challenge her.
4. Am I Being “Slimy?” If your only interest in the woman is to get her into bed, you better believe that she knows it and feels “icky” because of it. Most of the time, this kind of behavior will either keep you in the friend zone or write you a one-way ticket out of her life. It’s better to actually pay attention to her and treat her as a human being who has her own goals and desires instead of putting her up on a pedestal as some kind of prize to be won.
5. Am I Overdoing it? Are you overdoing it when you are going out on dates by spending a lot of money or trying to put on a big show and impress her? If so, you’re basically telling her that your personality is not exciting or interesting enough and so you have to impress her with other things. When you choose dates, choose places and activities which will allow you to interact, to have fun and to get to know one another. I mean think about it, she can go out on extravagant dates with anyone…but having a real connection depends on her connecting with you as you are.
6. Am I Being Indecisive? Indecisiveness is one of the most definite signs of neediness, insecurity and a lack of passion and direction. As you can imagine, these are not things which create attraction with a woman. At best, she might keep you around as a friend because you’re a nice guy. But if you’re indecisive, she won’t want to spend a lot of time with you because she’ll always have to be the one making decisions. But being a decisive and confident man gives her the freedom and the safety to be herself without all of the extra pressure, and that’s what women want from a man.
Now, since you probably want to do more than just stay out of the friend zone, let’s talk about the 10 qualities which women find most attractive…
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